If you would like to download a free copy of my first book, Pickles the Parrot: A Humorous Look at Life With an African Grey, the link below will take you to my facebook page for all the informati…
Oh My God – Santa is just too darn scary to bring me presents! I’m truly afraid he will eat ME and not the cookies and milk I leave out for him. I was going to sit on his knee and tell him what I would like for Christmas but I’m pretty sure I can do without this year, thank you very much. When Dad held me up to him, I told him, “You’re a little brat!” If I had worse words for him, I would have said them!
Here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas without Scary Santa!
And, don’t forget that my ebooks are 50% off for the month of January and that there is a way to give them as gift certificates too – you will see that option to the right of each book link at Smashwords. Go to the link pictured below to download them – the links to the rest of the books are listed at the bottom of the Smashwords page. Feel free to share this on your own pages – but DON’T FORGET TO INCLUDE THE LINK AND THE COUPON NUMBERS, by copy/pasting this whole message. If you are looking for paper copies, you can buy them at Amazon at this link it’s not too late because they have really fast delievery, http://www.amazon.com/…/B004H…/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1 (they have the paper books for 20% off and free shipping if you order more than one book) or if you would like copies signed by Mom and beaked by me, just sent us a message. Download the books here … https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/312035
Pickles the Parrot – $3.50 with Coupon DV48A
Pickles the Parrot Returns – $3.50 with Coupon BB29H
Pickles the Parrot Speaks – $2.00 with Coupon CN33U
Fifty Shades of African Grey – $3.00 with Coupon FJ55P
My Aunt Karen gave Mom a couple of pumpkins from her garden so Mom made cookies with them and then decided to make some for me too. She was in email with my Aunt Leslie and mentioned that she was making birdie cookies today and Aunt Leslie replied with, “Poor birdies. Do you debone first? Do you use the beak and feets for garnish on top?” ACK!! Is that really what my birdie cookies are made of????
CHRISTMAS!! 50% off all 4 of my EBOOKS for the month of December! You can buy them as GIFT CERTIFICATES too! You can find out how by clicking on the Gift Certificate link on the right of each of my book pages. Go to the link pictured below to download my books with these coupons – the links to the rest of the books are listed at the bottom of the Smashwords page. Feel free to share this on your own pages – but DON’T FORGET TO INCLUDE THE LINK AND THE COUPON NUMBERS, by copy/pasting this whole message. If you are looking for paper copies, you can buy them at Amazon at this link, Paper Books at Amazon (they have the paper books for 20% off and free shipping if you order more than one book) or if you would like copies signed by Mom and beaked by me, just sent us a message. Download the ebooks here … Ebooks at Smashwords
Pickles the Parrot – $3.50 with Coupon DV48A
Pickles the Parrot Returns – $3.50 with Coupon BB29H
Pickles the Parrot Speaks – $2.00 with Coupon CN33U
Fifty Shades of African Grey – $3.00 with Coupon FJ55P
Mom made 3 different kinds of snacks for me. As she baked each one, she’d give me one to sample, I tossed them with disgust and told her, “Crap!” and got mad. I got madder when she just shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the room. My cursing turned to muttering and then turned to sneaking glances at the snack on the floor. After a quick shoulder check to make sure Mom wasn’t watching, I climbed down my cage, grabbed the snack and ate it on the bottom rung of my cage then climbed back up and sat on the top of my cage like nothing happened. I did this with all 3 snacks, not realizing that Mom had been secretly spying on me so I had to come clean otherwise she calls my birdie snacks, ‘dog cookies’ and Neeka gets them all. She’s real mean that way.
Here’s the recipes if anybody wants them. They are real simple to make and easy to substitute. You want the dough to be fairly dry, not wet and gooey. Before you bake them, you can either add flour or water to make them the right consistency. Baking times will vary with the size and/or thickness of them. Two of these recipes were made as fat (soft on the inside, crispy on the outside) cookies AND one large, flat, crisp piece that you can snap off into smaller pieces. Don’t worry too much about exact amounts of ingredients. I did each batch of cookies in smaller batches to experiment with times and textures.
Pickles the Parrot’s Banana/Cheerio Snacks
~ 1 mashed banana
~ 1 1/2 cup of ground whole grain Cheerios (or grind up oatmeal or nuts etc.)
~ 1 beaten egg, with or without the broken up shell
~ Sprinkle with Sesame seeds, if you have them
~ Flatten on greased cookie sheet, or drop by tablespoon full on sheet as cookies, or both. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. If making flatbread, back until crispy hard. Cool completely before freezing or it will freezer burn when stored.
Pickles the Parrot’s Potato Carrot Cookies
~ 1 cup mashed potato (or yam or sweet potato)
~ 1 1/2 cup finely chopped carrot (or other veggie)
~ 1 beaten egg
~ 1 cup ground pecans (or other nut)
~ 3/4 cup healthy flour or finely ground oatmeal
~ Flatten on greased cookie sheet, or drop by tablespoon full on sheet as cookies, or both. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. If making flatbread, back until crispy hard. Cool completely or it will freezer burn when stored.
Pickles the Parrot’s Oatmeal and Seed Cookies
~ 3/4 cup natural peanut butter
~ 1 egg
~ 3/4 cup of water
~ 1 1/2 cup of ground oatmeal
~ 3/4 cup healthy flour
~ 1 cup of parrot seed mixture
~ Flatten on greased cookie sheet, or drop by tablespoon full on sheet as cookies, or both. Bake at 350 for 30 – 40 minutes. If making flatbread, back until crispy hard. Cool completely or it will freezer burn when stored.
And, don’t forget – Christmas is only FIVE WEEKS AWAY! My books make great Christmas gifts and you can buy the paper books at Amazon, where they usually offer discounts and free shipping Pickles’ Paper Books and they are also available there in Kindle form. Or, you can get all ebook formats at Pickles’ Ebooks
Mom handed me a snack saying, “I made you some new cookies but I don’t know why I even bother since you don’t usually like them and end up throwing them in my fa …” and just as she was saying “face” I threw it in her mouth and she caught it in her lips. It was so funny I did my nose laugh AND my cackle! Eat THAT, Mom!
Don’t forget about my books for your Christmas shopping!
Pickles the Parrot Books
I get really spastic when I’m shaking my toy maraca and sometimes I hit myself in the head. Mom thinks I’m might be giving myself brain damage but there’s nothing wrong with me … bonk-“potato!”, bonk-“potato!”, bonk-“potato!”, bonk-“potato!” …
Stop watching me! …
Christmas is coming! My books make awesome gifts and you can buy the paper books (and Kindle ebooks) at Amazon – Pickles the Parrot Books
And, you can get all other formats (including Kindle) and there is also a gift option at – Smashwords – Pickles the Parrot books
Wow – look at all the new stuff that came in the mail today! Food and toys and everything! I spent quite some time inspecting everything and it’s all cool and everything, Mom, except that if you really loved me, you would have asked for it to come in a way bigger box. I barely have room to swing a cat in this one. 😦
We got this stuff from http://featheredaddictions.com/
I was getting worried that I wouldn’t get any Mountain Ash berries because the Waxwings were devouring them on the neighbor’s tree. But Mom saved the day and put some branches on top of my cage so I could pig out on them. I ate every single one – billions of them!
Wait! What’s this? You saved some in a bowl to use with steamed pumpkin and the pumpkin seeds in a birdie bread? I will get in the bowl and mash them with my feet, just like grapes for wine. No, I really will! Mom – let me go – I promise I won’t eat them! mmmmm, nom, nom, nom.
Sorry, Mom. If you climb way high in the tree, there’s a few more berries up there for my birdie bread. Watch out for spiders.
I was hanging out on the kitchen counter, chewing my wicker box, hanging around in my paper bag, playing with stuff and eating scraps that Dad was throwing me while he made his smoothie. Suddenly the phone rang and I thought to myself, “Eureka!” Dad knows that if he’s on the phone and comes anywhere near me, I will bite him real hard. They don’t know why I do this and honestly, either do I but in the meantime, I knew I had the advantage.
I opened the cupboard beneath the sink with my beak and hopped onto the top of the door. Under the sink is a bucket of individually wrapped dishwasher cubes and I was determined to get into them because I knew Dad would be too afraid to stop me.
But, once again, I was foiled. Every time I leaned in to jump in the cupboard, Dad flicked my tail with his finger. Ohhhhh, how I hate that! I kept reaching, he kept flicking. Each time I turned around to bite him, it was too late. After a short while, he got off the phone and I was sitting there, waiting to teach him a lesson. “Wanna snack, Pickles?” Why, yes I do! Even more than I want to bite you. Way to change the subject, Dad.
mmmmmmm, Honeydew Melon! I will sit right here on the counter cupboard door and watch you carve it up for me. Yup, wash it first. Get a sharp knife and quarter the melon. Now, scoop out all the seeds and put them in a bowl – good guuuurl! Now, toss the melons in the garbage and hand me those seeds!
Don’t forget to check my facebook page periodically for other stuff. https://www.facebook.com/georgiabbotts.picklestheparrot
Mom’s been telling tales about me again. I don’t know what the big deal is …
Pickles had finished his lunch and was holding his girlfriend (his pink toy on a chain) and trying to feed her some of his meal. He always does this if he has what he thinks to be a particularly tasty food – Pickles loves to share. After getting his girlfriend all nicely covered in gurge, he dropped her to walk away. “Be right back”, he said but as he walked away he said, “Huh?” so he turned his head to look over his shoulder and said, “I said I’d be right back!” and then turned and left. He climbed down to his water dish, drank from it, then returned to his girlfriend and beat her up. I don’t know if the ‘Huh?’ was supposed to be her speaking, or if he said, “Huh?” in response to something she said in his head but he obviously doesn’t like to be questioned on his whereabouts.
(Pickles has been saying both phrases for years but has never put them together like this in the past)
Dear Mr. Garbage Truck; Thank you for coming at 7:00am each Wednesday morning, and backing up to turn around at the end of our street to remind me about that wonderful, loud, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, that I can repeat for the next 16 hours. Don’t mind the icy stares from my mother – she always looks like that during the onset of a headache.
Jeez, what a crappy picture, Mom …
Listen, Mom. Just cuz you got this big new box for me to chicken scratch, play in and chew on, doesn’t mean you can use it for a playpen to contain me while you go about your business! Well, actually, it does cuz i love being in here. BUT, I want you to know that I am aware of what you’re doing and I don’t like it one little bit. Well, actually, I kinda love it cuz I like the privacy. I don’t have to look at you and it’s almost as if these box walls are sound proof and keeps out any indications that you may be around. BUT I’M ONTO YOU!
Check out my Facebook page for new posts the past while and for a 50% OFF Canada Day special on my ebooks!
Mom has been spoiling me with all kinds of boxes, wicker baskets, telephone books and cookie snacks! Is she being nice to me because I’m dying, or does she just have too much time on her hands these days? Anyway, these newest cookies are to die for! See below for the recipe. Also, if you go to my facebook page, I have coupons to download all 4 of my ebooks for 50% off – https://www.facebook.com/georgiabbotts.picklestheparrot
1/2 cup uncooked oats
1 cup flour (I used brown rice flour)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 cup flax seeds
1/4 cup chia seeds
1/4 cup hemp hearts
1/4 cup sesame seeds
1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup broken almonds
1/2 cup dried pomegranate seeds
2 beaten eggs, with or without shell
1/2 cup almond butter (or other nut butter)
1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce
water if needed
You can substitute any of the seeds that you might not have for this recipe. Or add more of one kind to make up for what you don’t have. You can use any kind of flour – i keep a good stock of healthy flours such as brown rice, potato, corn, coconut etc. Health stores carry so many different types now – often you can find them in your supermarket too. Some flours absorb moisture more than others so you may have to adjust wet ingredients.
Stir oats, flour and baking powder together. Add all the seeds, broken almonds and pomegranate. Stir eggs, almond butter and applesauce in separate bowl and then add to dry ingredients. You should have a fairly dry mixture, only wet enough to stick together. Add water if too dry – add more oats if too wet. Spoon onto a greased baking sheet as large or small as you would like – these will stick if you don’t. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes, until they start to brown on the edges.
A tisket, a tasket, I’ve got an awesome basket.
Mom got me some new baskets and she thought I’d like this one cuz it’s got nice dowels attached to make it more comfortable for perching. But, I prefer to chew them free and perch on the rough edges. You’d think she’d know me by now.
Don’t forget to check my Facebook page for other stuff I’ve posted – like the auction for Ginger’s Parrot Rescue, with lots of cool stuff to bid on.
I’m banging around in my box and Mom keeps bugging me …
Mom says she made dog cookies but once again, i think she’s lying and giving Neeka Dog all my birdie cookies. I like this one!
It’s on my recipe page – here’s the link … https://picklestheparrot.wordpress.com/birdie-recipes-and-food-ideas/
I peeked over Mom’s shoulder and saw her writing this …
Pickles was sitting on my hand while watching ‘baby butt’ birdies outside and cawing like a crow at them all when suddenly he stopped and cocked his head sideways to look up at my face. He looked deep into my eyes, with that look of love that parrots can get that melts your heart and then, so very lovingly, he asked, “Do you hasta poop, baby?” I didn’t, but it was nice of him to ask.
Oh My God! This is the best snack Mom has made in all the years she’s been making parrot snacks! I can’t get enough of these! Check it out on the recipe page at the following link ….
Also, there are other recipes on my regular website, just in case you’ve never visited there …
It’s Spring time! We’ve had a few really nice days and Mom took me for a walk. As usual, we walked around the lake in town and came across people along the trail. I was good today and didn’t embarrass Mom even one single time. I decided not to talk to people much though and instead, while they were talking to Mom, I just kept interjecting with “um hmmmm, uh huh, hmmmm, uh huh, uhmmm” being all agreeable and stuff. And, if they had dogs, I called them with my 2 little kissy sounds followed by 2 short whistles. The only time I really talked was to ask one nice little doggy, “Do ya wanna eat some poop?” So, I guess I did embarrass Mom one single time after all.
(If you haven’t been to my facebook page lately, you might like to pop by for some videos and other stuff i’ve posted there lately. https://www.facebook.com/georgiabbotts.picklestheparrot
In case you missed them, here’s the link to my renovations …
I’m watching cartoons on TV all day today, and copying all the fun noises! I am a happy, happy bird today and would like to make you happy too by offering you this (plus a book excerpt below) ….
I am offering 50% off my ebooks until April 21st. Go to the link pictured below and to download the other three, the links are listed at the bottom of the Smashwords page. Feel free to share this on your own pages – but DON’T FORGET TO INCLUDE THE LINK AND THE COUPON NUMBERS. Did you know that you can give my Ebooks as GIFT CERTIFICATES? (You can find out how by clicking on the Gift Certificate link on the right of each of my book pages) If you are looking for paper copies, you can buy them at Amazon or if you would like copies signed by Mom and beaked by me, just sent us a message. Download the books here … http://https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/312035
Pickles the Parrot – $3.50 with Coupon FR62G
Pickles the Parrot Returns – $3.50 with Coupon KT87H
Pickles the Parrot Speaks – $2.00 with Coupon AF54V
Fifty Shades of African Grey – $3.00 with Coupon YG57N
Still though, there were days he was good about going in the cage and I had no problem locking him in so one day I had some shopping to do and was gone for about 45 minutes. Upon my return, I thought it curious that I wasn’t greeted with Pickles’ usual “Mama’s home! Hello baby!” so I walked into the living room to investigate.
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as I realized my very, very, VERY worst fear had become a reality. I stood, dumbfounded, gaping at an empty cage. Somebody broke in the house and stole him.
Then I noticed the cage door. hmmm. What kinda self-respecting thief would steal a parrot and take the time to lock the cage door in the open position? Damn, I’d gone out and forgot to put Pickles in his cage. My relief quickly turned to worry though because he wasn’t anywhere in sight.
I began my search, looking for signs of a poop trail. I’m calling for him and his silence conjures up images of an electrified bird lying in a smoking heap behind the couch (having chewed through an electric cord). My grasping mind tells me “it’s okay, you know how he clams up in impish delight while enjoying an impromptu game of hide-and-seek” but I’m uneasy non-the-less.
As I’m on my hands and knees, peering under a couch, I hear a VERY distinctive nose laugh. You know the sound – when someone is laughing through their nose with their mouth closed. I look up from my crouched position, into the kitchen about 6 feet away and there, smack dab in the middle of the dictionary stand, roosts a smartass little Grey.
“Pickles!” I exclaim.
“What’s up?” he queries with a twinkle in his eye.
“I’ve been looking all over for you!” I reply.
“Huh?” he asks.
“You heard me.” I said, which triggers more nose laughing and some gleeful head bobbing.
As I walked toward him he commanded, “Step up” as his little footsie was waving in the air in anticipation of my hand and a free ride home – or so I thought.
The moment he stepped up on my hand, he flung himself upside down exclaiming “Upside down bird!” I told him to get back up as I righted him with my other hand. After momentarily obliging, he promptly fell over once again. He thought this a delightful little game and continued to fall over like some stinkin’ drunk.
So there I am, walking around with an upside down bird on my hand, telling him to get back up and he’s piping “get back up!” right back at me. I carry this lippy, drunken bird to the cage and try to set him down gently on his back but he just lies there clinging to my finger. I try to pry his talons off but they just dig in deeper.
I give up, sit on the couch and place him on his back in my lap, between my legs. He lies there, trying to outlast me. Eventually he says “ticko, ticko, ticko” so I tickle his belly. He gets so excited that he releases his hold but is now stuck on his back like a turtle, waving his feet frantically in the air. I don’t help the little stinker. Instead, I sit there and nose laugh.
All this time I had thought Pickles was getting his vocabulary from me. As it turned out, he’d been reading the dictionary behind my back.
Chompin’ on my box,
chompin’ on my box,
… wait, what’s THIS???
You made dog cookies? I don’t THINK so. These taste suspiciously birdy-like.
I think you should make a new batch for Neeka Dog because i don’t think he’d like these ones and besides, i’ve licked them all and now they have germs.
(Mom went on holidays and she went to the FLOPRS Parrot Refuge in Vancouver Island. If you go to my facebook page, i have posted a few pictures … https://www.facebook.com/georgiabbotts.picklestheparrot )
While Mom and Dad were out of the living room, I flew to the couch and pooped on the top of the back of the couch. It was big and gooey and traveled well – right down to the seats. When Dad discovered it later, Mom told him to wait until it dries so it wouldn’t smear everywhere and it would be easier to remove.
Then, a couple of hours later, when they were out of the living room again, I flew to the couch and pooped about a foot away from the other one. It didn’t travel as far but this one was a prettier green and made a nice contrast with the first one. When they found this one, Mom said the same thing – to let it dry and then clean up both.
Then – yup, you guessed it – it happened again so I had 3 lovely poopies of assorted sizes and colors, all dripping down the cushion backs. Again, they were waiting for it to dry before cleaning it up.
Finally, the fun was over and I went to bed but soon after, some friends of theirs happened over for a short visit and they were invited into the living room. I don’t know why Mom & Dad got so embarrassed about it, or why they felt the need to explain why nobody bothered to clean up all the bird poop everywhere, or why nobody wanted to sit on the couch. Everyone should just relax and enjoy it. That’s what I would do.
It’s Read An Ebook Week again! 50% off my ebooks at Smashwords all week. Plus, Amazon is offering 17% off all my books, plus free shipping when you order more than one. Check out both of these deals and links on MY BOOKS page here …
I not only love bananas, but I love to share them too! Here’s Dad and I sharing one.
By the way, have you ever seen a banana jump? Me neither. They must do it at night.
Pickles: Daddy home?
Mom: No. He’s out of town for a couple of days.
Pickles: Daddy home?
Pickles: Daddy home?
Pickles: Daddy home?
Mom: NO! He’ll be gone long time!
Gone long time?
Pickles: Gone long time?
Pickles: Gone long time?
Mom: YES! He’ll be home tomorrow!
Pickles: Daddy home?
Mom: Um, fine, yes, okay, Daddy’s home. Now leave me alone.
Pickles: Woo hoo! Daddy’s home!!!
Pickles: Where Daddy?
Mom has left the building.
I had a box. I chewed it up. Now I have no box. I have a hard time understanding this. Why can’t I have the box and chew it too? Now I know how humans feel about cake.
For a limited time, i will be offering by books (signed by Mom and beaked by me) for the Canadian price. All our transitions (publishing, promotion, buying books, selling books etc.) are always done in American dollars but with the Canadian dollar at .80 right now, we thought we’d give our friends a bit of a break and offer the books and the shipping in Canadian funds to save you some money. Just contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will send you a Paypal request for payment. You can pay this way even if you don’t have a Paypal account.
You don’t need an ugly old ground hog forecasting winter when yous gotz a parrot to tell you. If you saw my video last week, you know that I was right when I predicted the winner of this year’s Super Bowl, so now i’m telling you … I saw my scary shadow today so that means we will have 6 more weeks of winter! Sorry.
A Man’s work is never done but Daddy and I love working together. He is doing the dishes while i busy myself with box chewing. It’s hard work making more of a mess for Daddy to clean up, but somebody’s gotta do it!
Place your bets! Trust in me!
Mom’s whistling talents are just okay but she’s the one who taught me to whistle. Sometimes, when she’s teaching me a new whistle song, she whistles out of tune but I never do and I can correct an out-of-tune song. Mom thinks that’s really cool and she likes that. But what she doesn’t like is that whenever she’s on the phone, I suddenly forget how to whistle in tune and make up for it by whistling supersonic loud. Then she has to explain the background racket to the person on the phone. I never get tired of phone games.
Anybody get an Ereader for Christmas? We currently have a sale on all 4 of my Ebooks, and Amazon has the Paper Books for 10% off and free shipping. You can find the information on this page …
I wanna tell you a story. Once upon a time, I landed in Mom’s cereal this morning when she walked out of the room. The End.
If you received, or know somebody who received, an ereader for Christmas – now is the time to download all 4 of my ebooks for 40% off. There is also a ‘gifting’ option. The coupons are on MY BOOKS page https://picklestheparrot.wordpress.com/my-books/
Today was a very good noise day. Dad was working on house renos and he had the really loud air compressor and nail gun going. Then the TV was going, Mom’s smoothie machine was going and Neeka Dog was playing with his loud pop bottle/beads rattle. I pretended it was a band with me banging my bells and singing the lead even louder than everybody else. Oh, what great music we made! It had a great beat that you could dance to, which I did.
I didn’t know about this until yesterday! The Oasis Sanctuary had floods and hurricanes. Please help, if you can …
You guys can’t go to bed at 8:30pm! Are you getting old? You know the routine … I insist on ‘lights off’ at 5:00pm sharp and, while under covers for the next 5 or 6 hours, I play with my bucket of talon toys, talk to myself and my toys, nap a bit and then start all over. I HAVE to have the TV noise on – you KNOW that – otherwise I wake up, or stop whatever I’m doing to squawk real loud at you if you mute my noise. Get back up and give me my noise!!
It’s not too late to order any of my 4 books from Amazon for Christmas! They have 10% off and free shipping when you buy more than 1. You can also order ebooks from Smashwords for 50% off right now. Plus, they have a ‘Gift’ option so that you can send them to friends and family for Christmas. All the info, coupons and links are here … https://picklestheparrot.wordpress.com/my-books/
Mom was ignoring me and playing with cool stuff on the couch so I gotz mad and flew over there and everything I could grab with my beak got tossed to the floor. If she picked up something else, I ran after it and grabbed it out of her hand and tossed it. I wouldn’t let her do anything except just sit there while I sat there and foiled her fun. She sat there glaring at me and I sat there next to her, glaring right back. It was a stalemate.
Finally, she asked if I wanted a snack and I sure did! So, she took me to get a nut and set me back on top of my cage to eat it. She went and gathered all her cool stuff and as she walked out of the room, she said, “I guess you don’t want any new toys for Christmas.” NEW TOYS??? I know what that means!!! Ohhhhh, why do I have to spoil everything?
But wait! I found this picture and I’m pretty sure most of it is what she was making and I was ruining. I’m gonna be one lucky birdie on Christmas morning!
Don’t forget to buy, or make, your birdies Christmas presents! Cuz, we loooooves Christmas presents!
And don’t forget to buy your friends and family one or more of my 4 books for Christmas this year because everybody loooooves my books! Even us parrots loooooove to have them read to us!
Go to MY BOOKS! link – https://picklestheparrot.wordpress.com/my-books/ to find out where to get them and to get the 50% off coupons for my ebooks.
Mom put some cruddy vegetable chop in my dish and when I discovered that she hadn’t twisted the twisty bowl in properly, I was able to pull it off and toss it on the bottom of my cage. But I could still see the crud so I climbed down to the cage floor and pushed and pulled and lifted it up so I could throw it out of my cage and onto the floor. But I could STILL see it so I climbed down my cage to the floor, picked it up in my beak and tried to figure out where it should go now so that Mom wouldn’t find it and put it back in my cage.
Just as I was trying to figure things out, Mom walked into the room and headed toward me! I turned to run with the bowl but I tripped over it, which made me mad so I beaked it hard and then I threw it but it hit the leg of the cage and ricocheted right back at me, causing me to half fly and half jump in the air so it would miss me but then I came down right on top of it and after attempting a log roll, it tossed me off like a bucking bronco.
Mom kept coming and it was all happening so fast so I picked up the bowl again and hightailed it under my cage and out the other side, only to find myself up against 2 walls. Mom caught up with me, picked up the bowl in one hand and me in the other and then said that, for a parrot that supposed to be so bloody intelligent, I don’t understand corners very well.
Well, maybe not, but what I do understand is that the minute you put me back in the cage with that crap, I will paint the corner with flying crud.
Only 4 weeks until Christmas! My books would make awesome gifts for your friends and family. You can order them straight from me and get them signed by Mom and beaked by me with one of my very precious feathers included OR you can order them from Amazon where they have 10% off the books and free shipping when you order more than 2. Here’s the link to my first book, and you will find links to the other 3 on that page …
Also, did you know that you can give ebooks as gifts?! Well, you can – you will see that option on the right hand side of the link i’m providing – you will find the links to the other 3 books further down the page. And here are some coupons for 50% off until January 2, 1015. https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/31179
Pickles the Parrot – Coupon GJ65M
Pickles the Parrot Returns – Coupon DN89B
Pickles the Parrot Speaks – Coupon CT99F
Fifty Shades of African Grey – Coupon QW53P
If you have any problems, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Look for the little, kinda grey, box in the bottom right hand corner of the page to ‘Follow’ us. :-)
With all the problems that I, as a parrot, have been having with Facebook, and losing over 4,000 friends, we have decided we’re going to give blogging a shot so, Welcome To My New Blog!
Me: Mom, Neeka Dog keeps stealing my balls.
Mom: Those are HIS balls, Pickles.
Me: Let’s see, they’re colored and they are round so they are MY balls – please take them away from him and give them to me or I will come down there and get them myself.
Mom: Pickles! Get back up!
Me: YOU get back up!
Mom: No, YOU get back up!
Mom: That doesn’t even make any sense, Pickles – why, and how, would I get back up?
Me: Oh! Oh! Oh! Look at that – I keep slipping an inch at a time by mistake. I can’t help it – something is pulling me down against my will as I watch your eyes and face, with this cheeky look on my face, for signs that your jaw might unhinge or something. Oops! I’m sliiiiiiiiiiidinggggg.
BANG BANG BANG!
Me: Holy crap, the FEET, I forgot to watch the FEET! Stop that stamping, Mom – I HATE that! Okay, okay, I’m going, I’m going – there, I’m back up!
Mom: Good boy.
Me: You’re a good boy too, Mom – thanks for the stopping of the banging of the feet and for sitting back down and getting comfortable …. Oh no! I’m sliiiiiiiiiiidinggggggg …..
If you would like to download a free copy of my first book, Pickles the Parrot: A Humorous Look at Life With an African Grey, the link below will take you to my facebook page for all the information.
All I needed was 30 more seconds to wrap myself in the curtains. Curses, you humans! You must have eyes in the backs of your heads!